if i see the nightfall

if i make it over the crest of the day

shall i be grateful for what’s to come

or lay my head down and beg away?

gratitude that beast 

bullies me around every bend

so as not to leave the party early

and the party never seems to end

if i walk through another day

in those common shoes 

that squeeze my feet to pay and pay and pay

will i be able to enjoy the air i eat

rub the lint in my pockets for luck

and dance the painful night away?

if i open my eyes and close them as you say

through the explosions of pain in my head

will that count as my agreeing to obey

will that buy me some version of exceptional

will it let me make headway

will it bring me the five mother-may-i steps

will it let me in on the endplay

the open doorway

or will it just lead me to another hallway

another dead-end filled with tears 

nothing to do but pray

knowing that tomorrow is another day

of the same

the same

the same way